Momhood

Last Saturday, I went out for lunch at Mines. While waiting for mom to pray, I laid my bottom on a bench near the corridor. People were passing by in and out of the toilet. I scrutinized
every one that passes me by. From bizarre outfits they were wearing to pretty shoes they had on, I comment every detail inside my brain as though I was talking to someone.

After about 10 minutes sitting there particularly doing nothing, a Chinese mom came to sit on the benches with her son in the stroller. I watched her from afar. We were separated by a bench. I was awe-strucked (is that even a word?) with how she handled her toddler. He was weeping and crying slowly which I have no idea why. The mom took out some stuff from the basket in the stroller. I saw her took out a flask and a bowl. Right, the kid is hungry. She managed to mix baby food if I'm not mistaken and fed her son. She patiently fed him spoon by spoon and he opened his mouth like a hungry bird waiting his mom to put food in his mouth. He's so cute. He looks like a shoalin baby with his bald head. Adorable. While watching the mom-feeding-her-kid-scene, it occurred to me, being a mom is one tough job.

I'm really amazed of what these moms had gone through life to raise us kids. From the day she got the big news to the day she brought us to the world, to the day we learned our ABCs and stumbled in our attempts to walk and so many other things. What really touches me is how she has gone through such torments in bringing us to the world. Yesterday I went to visit an old colleague, Kak syu dear, who just gave birth 6 days ago. She told her side of her story. Every bits. To hear her stories, made me have a second thoughts of being a mom. Really, it freaks me out. Big time.

First thing first, I don't have that mom material and I'm sure most of you people out there would agree. Second, I don't know if I'm capable of being a mom. Having to deal with babies, toddlers, kids, gosh, I sucked at it. I can't even handle my 4 and 6 years old cousins. Not with a calm attitude. Only to have me gone bonkers. Truth be told. I can't stand them. Really. They're little devils but cute ones though. Dealing with them is no easy task. Really challenging and it gives me an insight of what mom hood is like. Definitely not easy.

Me and my mom doesn't have that cool bond between us like Lorelai and Rory. We have different views and opinions, always bickering with one another, yet at the end of the day, she is still my mom till the end. Even though I give her hell most of my life, I love her even if I might not say it. I've always been nonchalant about my feelings. I'm not the type who spills everything to her parents especially it if involves tears. Hehe. I xreti OK. I will try my best to be a good daughter. InsyaAllah. Mom bear with me ok.

A mother is everything in our life. She would sacrifice herself for her children, spends her money to buy clothes even though she can't afford it and try to fulfill her children's need even if they give her a hard time. Maybe I would do the same under what circumstances I might go through. Everyone has that mother instincts. Right? Still, I can't picture myself being a mom. Can you?